Im starting a philosopherish blog right now (as you can see i guess). This first post wont contain any discussions or information.
Im an rather active person that actually considers himself open-minded. Because of that im trying to investigate paths that people that are just blindly following one view of the world wouldnt even dare to go. While doing so im always hyper-sceptical. Im not talking about that kind of sceptical that is these days connected to people that are hard-core materialists/atheists. Im sceptical in a critical way. Im not going to believe until i got proof. Well, and because there is no final proof for anything out there(except for mathematics propably) i will never be satisfied.
My main interest is life after death and the survival of consciousness. I know that modern materialistic science doesnt believe in that kind of stuff, but surprisingly little is actually known if something survives or not. Why is that? Basically because in the end it isnt something that can be proven or disproven. You can collect hints for on or the other direction (and there are enough of them for both sides) if you want to.
So, what kind of hints and information am i going to collect and talk about right here?
Well, you’ll will know after i introduced myself. Im Michael, 25 years old. Im currently living in Germany; i also grew up here. I studied Computer Science for 5 years and got a masters degree from that (btw, that doesnt mean that im some sort of researcher; but i do know a tiny little bit about scientific work).
I grew up in a materialistic world and i always believed that stuff with everything i had. Its natural over here in germany to think like that; schools teach it like that to the kids, society suggests it too. My parents actually put me in all kinds of catholic stuff (that i didnt like at all). Thats propably another reason why i did believe in material>everything else.
So, why i am trying to write in past tense there? It would be a lie to say im not believing in materialism anymore. You cant get away from something that got clubed in your brain for 25 years. But a few weeks ago i had a weird experience.
I already had some sort of panic attacks because of death and everything for the last couple years. I was scared of it because of reason i do not even know now. It wasnt the usual fear of it though. It was a lot more intense. It fucked me good, believe that.
And well, at one point, right after i finished my master degree, i had a severe breakdown. I had constant panic and fear for several days. I couldnt think clearly anymore. It didnt matter that i knew that this wouldnt change anything at all, i still was scared. And then… you know, that may sound weird, but i had a few long and good talks with my father.
To be honest, i never thought that he would know of stuff like that, but he actually had the same problems when he was young. He told me what he did to handle it better and to deal with it: He confronted himself with it. And by that i mean that he researched the topic death. And even if you just get on the surface of it, you got to wonder: Is materialism really all there is to life? As you dive deeper in it you will find a lot of stuff that is actually quite interesting. Society and especially sciene these days isnt what it seems to be. It isnt allknowing and it certainly wont deliver all the answers we are expecting of it.
Well, my father actually found his answer to it. ITs a rather logical argument that i wont write about right now – just that much, its one of those things that cant be proven or disproven. And its related to the fine-tuning argument (which is a pretty controversal thing itself). But not only that. The final thing hes saying was that everything we are talking about could be god (the names are different, but its all the same. Matter, time, whatever).
Pretty good, huh? But since we are all science guys these days you will see that this isnt anything you can approach with science just like that(my father actually had some good reasons for believing in that stuff and i kinda guess that they are logical too). It may be logical to a lot of people out there, but it isnt scientific in a modern sense. You cant do experiments and you cant find any proof for it.
So, there must be anything else out there, right? This is basically where my journey led me till now. Im on a point where im trying to get away from materialism, but i really struggle with that since i knew that stuff for so long (and i thought for 25 years it would be the ultimate truth). And secondly, its freaking hard to find things and people that are also thinking like that that are knowing more about science then me. But they are out there (i found a few of them (: ).
So, what do you need and what is to be expected from this blog?
I’ll analyse and write about stuff regarding life after death and consciousness. Like i wrote, im not a scientist, so dont expect any new information. Im just summing it up with a ton of speculations. Even so, i made it clear that i think that materialism alone cant be the answer, didnt i? So dont expect me to say that something isnt possible just because modern science tells us so.